If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1)

  If You Only Knew

  Sara Preston

  Copyright © 2015 Sara Preston

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN-13: 978-1508726654

  ISBN-10: 1508726655

  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to my wonderful and supportive husband, Dan Preston. I love you dearly and this book never could have been written without you.

  To all those out there with mental illness. There are people out there who love you.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  Dan Preston – how can I acknowledge the man who is the inspiration for the main character! You’re wonderful and I love you.

  Deb Julienne – without you this book never would have gotten to this point. Nothing I can do will ever thank you enough for all the help you have given me. Thank you!

  A couple special beta readers:

  Wendy Stenzel Oleston – thank you so much for the kind words about my book. You fulfilled a life-long bucket list item, simply by telling me the book helped you! Thank you!

  Amber Root – Your critique was beautiful and I loved it. It was well worth the wait. Your analysis of the book was amazing. Thank you!

  Kirsten Martin – Thank you for all the hard work you put into my book. I know it’s not your genre and I’m glad you took the time.

  My beta readers: Thanks so much for your hard work.

  Becky Gardner, Mary Hill, Renee Mills Hensen, Louisa Alcott, Nancy Seguin, Kat Callahan Jordan, Luana Stoner, Tasha Renee, Becky Jordan, Corinne Gates, Kirby Burt, Pam Lee, Pamela Washington, and Deeb Browne

  This is a work of fiction. There are no medical marijuana laws in Indiana, therefore everything the main character is doing is illegal in real life, but again, this is fiction.

  Warning: This book contains sex scenes, drug use, alcohol use, and foul language.

  Any similarities between characters and real people is unintentional.

  Chapter One

  March 19th

  Liza Thomas turned the car left onto South Hillcrest Drive. The clock read 8:00 P.M . . . fifteen minutes before her next home-based case management appointment. Gothic and Victorian homes lined the residential street. Wrought iron fences surrounded some of the properties. A late winter snow flurry left the roads slick and she slowed her vehicle. Headlights shone at the end of a nearby driveway.

  She clutched the steering wheel as the car spun around on the icy roads. Her shoulder, then her head, slammed into the window. Pain shot through her and she groaned. The vehicle came to a complete stop and her body snapped forward. The collision happened before she had any time to think about it.

  Time slowed, the scene in front of her gained a fuzzy cast to it. She felt like she was in a tunnel, sounds echoed, but at the same time, were muted. Dogs barked and a car door slammed.

  She inhaled the scents of sandalwood and cedar and her eyes fluttered open.

  “Are you all right?” A male voice said as he reached in to turn off the vehicle.

  The lights in the car flickered on and she blinked twice. She twisted her head to see a green thermal shirt stretched across a taut chest. Her mouth opened, but the words would not come out.

  “Did you hear me?”

  She glanced up to find mysterious deep blue eyes staring at her with an intensity she’d never experienced before.

  His brow furrowed and he tilted his head to the left.

  “I’m okay.” The words tumbled out.

  “Stay put, I’ll call an ambulance.” He stuck his hand in his pocket and brought out his phone.

  “No.” She rubbed the side of her head. “I don’t need an ambulance.”

  He put his phone away, and then leaned in across her and released her seatbelt, before helping her swing her legs around. “Are you sure you’re all right? How many fingers am I holding up?”

  “Two.”

  He nodded and held out his hand to help her up.

  “I’m fine.” She grasped his hand and sparks flew down her wrist. Her body stilled and she fixated on his eyes when he pulled her to her feet. Her legs trembled as she stood. Could she walk?

  His lips curled into a half smile. “Hi.” His hand came to rest on her lower back and he led her out of the road.

  “Were you the one who hit me?”

  He pointed toward the driveway where two women stood. “No, my mother and aunt crashed into your car when they came out of my driveway.” He removed his hand. “Are you sure you don’t need an ambulance?”

  “No, I’m fine.”

  The two women whispered to each other and one of them gave a slight wave.

  Liza waved. She didn’t recognize either, but there was no reason to be rude.

  “Are they okay?”

  “They’re fine. Mom hit a patch of ice and couldn’t get the vehicle stopped.” He offered his hand and she accepted it. “Julian Vitalli.”

  “Liza Thomas.” She rubbed her arms with her hands. A gust of wind blew through her thin sweater and she shivered. “It’s cold out here.”

  He stripped off his leather coat and wrapped it around her shoulders. “Let’s get you in the house and warmed up while we wait for the tow trucks.”

  Liza closed the coat around her. She shivered again, scenes from every teenage horror movie she ever seen ran through her head. She peeked at the man next to her, released a deep breath, and followed him out of the road.

  “Are you okay, honey?” The shorter of the two women spoke and touched her arm. “I tried to stop, really I did. But we slid on ice and well…you know the rest.”

  “I’m fine.” She rubbed her temple and winced. There was something she was supposed to be doing. Flashes and images flew through her brain, but she couldn’t quite catch them. She tucked her hand in her pocket for warmth and found her phone. Her appointment. Her hands trembled as she flipped open the phone, only to have it drop to the pavement below.

  Julian stooped to pick it up for her. He handed it to her and their fingers touched.

  She slid her tongue across her dry lips. Heat radiated from his touch. “Thank you.” She opened her phone and pressed the power button. Nothing happened. Holding down the power button did nothing either – her boss was going to kill her. “Damn!” She peered around. Where had Julian gone? She wanted to ask him about using his phone.

  “Is everything all right?” The taller of the two women rested her hand on Liza’s shoulder. Her eyes twinkled with kindness.

  “My phone isn’t working and I need to contact work.”

  “Where do you work, dear?” The shorter woman had long gray curls. Her eyes were blue and her smile reminded her of Julian’s.

  Julian appeared behind them.

  She looked behind her.

  Julian had set flares on the road.

  “I’m a case manager for the Yarrow Center in Marion. I have a couple cases in Bryton, but most of them are in Marion. My appointment is two miles from here. I’m late and my boss is go
ing to be pissed.” Her mind raced. What was she going to do?

  “The Yarrow Center has clients in this area?” The taller woman raised her eyebrow.

  Liza barely heard her. She touched Julian’s arm. “Is there any way I can use your phone?

  “You were in a car accident, it’s not like it could have been prevented.” Julian fished in his pocket for his phone. “Are you sure you’re okay, Mom?”

  “I’m fine, dear.”

  “You’re working this late?” Julian handed her his phone.

  She grasped the jade heart on the necklace she wore as if it were a security blanket. Her grandmother’s necklace, passed down to her mother and then to her. Grandpa said jade was for luck. It felt warm, maybe something good would come from this mess.

  Julian flashed a smile.

  Heat flooded her cheeks. “The hours get longer and longer, we can’t take kids out of school for supervised visitations or case management. Everything has to be done on weekends or after school hours. When I started my job, I was supposed to help therapists with paperwork and do an occasional supervised visit, but now . . .” She covered her mouth with her hands. Stop rambling, Liza!

  “You’ve had a stressful night, dear.” His mother patted her arm and then turned to Julian. “Did you call Drew yet?”

  “I called when I set up the flares.”

  Liza trembled and tugged his coat tighter around her body.

  Julian placed his hand on her lower back. “Why don’t we go inside and warm up?”

  Even through his coat, she could feel the warmth of his hand. She nodded, not sure, she could manage much more.

  Julian led the way to the house, opened the door, and held it for her, his mother, and his aunt, then closed it behind him.

  “Liza, this is my aunt Laura.” He indicated the taller of the two women.

  Laura was the same height Liza. She had brown hair streaked with gray.

  “And this is my mother.”

  “I wish it was under nicer circumstances, but it’s nice to meet you dear.” Laura offered her hand to Liza.

  Liza shook Laura’s hand and then did the same with Julian’s mother.

  “Children tend to forget their parents have names. I’m Jackie.”

  “Nice to meet you.” Liza scanned the house. If there was danger, it was at least good to know her surroundings. A curved staircase was to her immediate left. Ahead of her was a living area and to the right she could see a formal dining room table.

  Julian motioned for them to follow him and led them into the living area. He pointed to a small hallway to his left. “The kitchen’s right through there and here’s my phone. You can make your calls and I’ll get you something to drink.” He handed her his phone.

  “Make her a cup of tea, dear. She appears a little shaken up. We may have to send her to the hospital if she doesn’t snap out of it soon.” Jackie rested on one of the couches.

  “I’m fine,” Liza repeated for what had to be the fifth time. She needed to call her client and her boss. “Shit.” She covered her mouth with both hands. Her bag was still in the car.

  Laughing, Laura rested her hand on her shoulder. “We all let a few of those out every now and then. What’s wrong?”

  “I need to get my bag out of the car.” She wobbled a little as she moved across the living room. “For the life of me, I can’t remember my boss’s number.”

  Julian stepped in front of her. “I’ll get it.” He headed toward the door, stopped, turned, and motioned for the kitchen door with his hand. “Go sit down. I’ll take care of everything.”

  Liza nodded before heading toward the kitchen. This day was one misstep after another. Blowing out an exasperated breath, she parked on one of the stools by the counter. She rubbed at her neck. Her whole body ached. She slid off the chair, snatched a paper towel, wet it, and placed it against her forehead. Her mind raced and the only thing she could think of to make this day worse would be if this seemingly nice family murdered her in their house. She shuddered at the thought.

  Liza picked up Julian’s phone and stared at it. It was a new fangled smart phone and she had no idea how to operate it. A locked screen came up when she tapped the phone. Lights blinked at her until she slid her finger across the screen to unlock it. Apps filled the first screen and nowhere could she find a button to bring up a keypad. Why did phones have to be complicated? Her work allocated phone was minimal at best — a flip phone that made calls and sent texts. She’d have to wait for Julian’s return.

  “Did you talk to your boss already?” Julian appeared, as if her thought conjured him. He placed her bag on the counter.

  She held the phone out to him. “My phone has a number pad. How does this thing work?”

  Julian chuckled and swiped at a couple of icons on the screen and pulled up a keypad for dialing. “There you go.” He strode over to the sink, teakettle in hand.

  “Thank you.” She flipped through her book to find Kate’s number and then made the call.

  The bright spot of the evening was the man filling up a kettle. Liza was distracted. Every time she caught a glimpse of him, he was staring at her. His eyes were deep and easy to read. The rest of him was a sight to behold. In the florescent light of the kitchen, his thermal stretched taut over his chiseled pecs. There was no hiding his muscular thighs. Her mouth went dry watching him. He had short black hair and he a well trimmed beard. She bet he looked even better naked. She fanned her hand in front of her, the heat rising through her.

  Julian caught her staring, winked, and moved back to the stove.

  Liza heat flushed her face.

  Her call disconnected. Strange. She found the number to her Clinical Director, Trina, and tried her. Again, the call disconnected. They wouldn’t recognize the number. She dialed Kate again.

  This time the call connected and Kate answered on the second ring.

  “Kate Welch, Case Manager Supervisor.”

  Julian set a cup of tea in front of her sliding his fingers across her hand as he moved away.

  “Umm . . .” Julian was a hell of a distraction. She couldn’t remember what she was supposed to tell her boss. “This is Liza, I . . .”

  Kate interrupted. “Where have you been? And why haven’t you been answering your phone?”

  The irritation in her boss’ voice steered her to the reason for the call. She tore her attention away from Julian and opened her bag.

  “I've received four phone calls about you being late for this appointment and you’re not answering your phone.” Kate’s voice held a tone of accusation.

  “My phone broke. It won’t even switch on.”

  “Well, where are you and whose phone are you using?”

  Liza knew how the system worked. The Clinical Director, Trina, probably spoke to Kate before she even knew about this situation. With Trina breathing down her neck, Kate had no choice but to reprimand Liza.

  “I was in a car accident.” Liza hoped the incident would satisfy her boss. Maybe, if Kate knew what was going on, she could at least head off Trina. “The car hit me as it was coming out of a driveway. The son of one of the women let me use his phone.” She rushed through the conversation and hoped it would convince her boss not to yell at her for one missed appointment.

  “A car accident? Are you okay?”

  Was there a touch of concern in Kate’s voice? Liza wasn’t convinced.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Well have the police been called? What about your insurance company?” Kate continued her needling line of questions.

  “The accident happened ten to fifteen minutes ago.” Liza swept the fly-away hair out of her face. “I’m not sure what’s been done yet, Kate. I’m a little out of it. We still need to exchange insurance information and my car needs to be towed. There’s so much to do, and I’m floundering here.”

  “Oh.” Kate paused before she continued. “This is going to be a problem. We’ve been getting complaints about you not returning phone calls and your numbers
being low.”

  “What the hell, Kate? I tell you I was in a car accident and you’re spouting numbers? And it’s hard to schedule appointments when you have no access to the schedule.”

  “We’re coming up on the end of the month, Liza. This case may not make or break you, but your other cancellations will. You need to get your act together. It’s not just me who sees this.”

  Kate’s bosses were breathing down her neck. It figured — even a car accident and it could lead to a write up. “It’s beginning of the week — I think I can fit in another visit to make up for a lost hour of case management.”

  She cringed and hoped Kate didn’t hear the snark. No use in defending herself, Kate already believed her guilty. She tapped her fingernails against the counter then ran her finger down her list of calls and visits she still had to set. “I’ve returned everyone’s calls. If it involved scheduling, I told them to call the main office.”

  “Well you need to tell me you’re having problems with the scheduling and cancellations,” Kate said.

  “I told you last week and the week before, you said you were working on it. Did you forget?” Why did she feel like she was being set up? “Clients cancelled at the last minute, Kate, what was I supposed to do?” Liza clenched her teeth and rubbed the her neck. Her whole body was stiff. She hoped it was from the conversation not the accident.

  Julian placed a cup in front of her and rested his hand on her shoulder.

  “Are you okay?” he mouthed.

  She sniffed. “Sorry.” She wiped away the offending tear.

  Julian stepped behind her and rubbed her shoulders.

  Liza contemplated telling him to stop, but it felt good and a moan escaped her lips. Shit.

  Kate’s voice brought her to reality. “Well Trina’s talking about you working Sundays and having visitations until nine in order to be able to fill the schedule. You may end up working six days a week,” Kate told her.

  “I live thirty miles away from town. I can’t afford to drive there six days a week.” The tears welled in her eyes again as she made the complaint to her boss. Kate had no clue what she was doing. She had never been a case manager before this and didn’t have one iota of training to be in the job she was in. All she cared about was the political end and keeping her own job. It didn’t matter whom she knocked over in the process.